what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize