last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
