Yo dont text me then not text me
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
