KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
