i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
