My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
