Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
