just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
