i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
