she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
