it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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