no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
