Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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