we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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