Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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