It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
