Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
