i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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