Just fell off a train. Bad.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
