Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
