when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
