what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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