so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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