Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
