i don't like sucking hair
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
