i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
