Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
