that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
