I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
as a side note pls kill me
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
