Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
