Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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