im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
only you would photoshop your dick
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
