I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
