it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
