To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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