SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My vagina is officially offended.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
