Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
