They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
