I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
