you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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