How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
