i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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