we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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