you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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