My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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