I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize