told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
im holly from the hills drunk
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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