woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
