Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
