what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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