quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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