He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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