Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
