I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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