I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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