Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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