My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
