well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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