I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Too much gin, very little bucket
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
