ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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