on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
