Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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