your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
