when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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