my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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