if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
