I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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