I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
