i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
