let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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