We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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