your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
