He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I could fuck to npr.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
