Having a random hookup so left but love u
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
