i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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