you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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