I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
